Being a caregiver to aging parents can be difficult under any circumstances, but when parents start to struggle with incontinence, it can become even more challenging.
Not only can it be hard to physically help elderly adults change out of soiled clothes when they have an accident, but it can also be messy, smelly, and most of all, embarrassing for all involved.
Here are a few tips that you can take as a caregiver to make things easier on you and your parent when they are dealing with incontinence.
- Talk to your parent’s doctor
Incontinence — whether it’s just once in a while or happening frequently — is a very common problem among older adults, especially for those suffering from Alzheimer’s or a form of dementia, as well as those who are less mobile due to arthritis, joint pain or other types of disabilities. However, just because incontinence is common doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be treated seriously, especially because incontinence may have an underlying medical cause.If your parent is too embarrassed to discuss their incontinence with their doctor, ask if they’d be more comfortable talking about it with a nurse, or tell your parent’s doctor about it yourself. Make sure to tell the doctor how frequently accidents occur and when they are happening to give the doctor an accurate picture of the situation.
- Keep an incontinence journal
Sometimes incontinence can be triggered by certain types of foods, drinks or types of movement. To have a better idea of what may be causing the incontinence, you can keep a journal where you write down what your parent is eating or drinking each day and when they have accidents. This can help you adjust their diet to avoid problematic foods and can be good information to share with their doctor. - Always be prepared
Having incontinence supplies on hand at all times can go a long way in making things easier on both you and your parent. When you leave the house, it’s a good idea to pack a small tote bag with extra incontinence briefs, pads, wipes, disposable gloves, plastic bags and a change of clothes, just in case your parent has an accident. This way, your parent won’t have to suffer as much embarrassment, and they won’t have to sit in your car with soiled clothes. It also helps prevent your loved one from always staying at home to avoid having an accident in public. - Encourage them to wear different clothes
Sometimes accidents happen for older people because they may have trouble getting to the bathroom quickly enough. That’s why it’s a good idea to encourage your parent to avoid clothes with too many zippers or clasps and instead opt for pants with elastic waistbands that are easier to pull down quickly. This can also make clean-up easier for you if you need to assist with undressing and re-dressing them. - Schedule bathroom breaks
To help prevent accidents and reduce the risk of urinary tract infections, it’s best to take your parent to the bathroom at regular intervals throughout the day rather than trying to rely on them to tell you when they need to go. This can also help train the bladder to go at certain times of the day. Start by taking a bathroom break every one to two hours, and then adjust the schedule until you find one that works for your parent. - Keep things light
Remember, your parent is most likely extremely embarrassed by not having control over their body in the way that they used to, and you can help make things easier by talking about incontinence in a very matter-of-fact way. Try not to get annoyed or frustrated. Instead say something like, “Oh, I see you’ve had an accident. It’s OK. Lots of people have them. Let’s just get you into some clean clothes.” You can even work in some light humor if you think your parent would be ok with that.
How to help your parent put on their incontinence brief or adult diaper
Sometimes elderly people will need help putting on their incontinence briefs or disposable underwear (also known as adult diapers). If you need to help your parent put on their adult diaper, always make sure to wear latex gloves to avoid getting any germs on yourself or them.
Here are some tips on how to physically put adult diapers onto someone else.
- Incontinence briefs
If your elderly parent is bedridden or not very mobile, you will have to put their incontinence brief on for them. To do this, have your parent lie down and turn sideways. Next, ask them to spread their spread their legs and put the diaper between them, making sure that the side with the tabs is at the back. Help your parent turn over onto their back again, making sure that the wetness indicator is lined up with their spine. Then fasten the tabs and make sure you have a secure fit. - Disposable Underwear
If your elderly parent is more mobile, they may be able to wear disposable underwear. Help them by stretching the diaper out width-wise and spreading out the ruffles at the top. Then make sure they are seated so they can put one foot in at a time without falling. Slide the diaper up to their knees, then have them stand up and pull the diaper up to their waist so they don’t have to bend over too much, which may cause them to fall.
Hopefully following some of these tips will help make dealing with your elderly parent’s incontinence a little easier for both of you.
